is to one day own my own home. I typically plan this dream out in my head a few times a year and then push it aside and move on with my life as I actually know it. I'm a single 33 year old woman and I live with my mother. Until a few years ago I actually had the exact same bedroom that I had when I was a mere 3 year old child! Then, my brother got married and I moved into his room because it was bigger. Still...same house.
I love my house, even with it's old cracks, popcorn ceilings, and dark paneled walls. Our home is home and has character. (sometimes more character than I would like, but it's charming) We live in a beautiful area full of trees and nature. The view is idyllic, it's great. But, sometimes when I least expect it I get this urge to want to move out and have my own place. Recently this "urge" came about because in talking with my grandmother about selling her house I really hoped I would be able to buy it from her and move there. I love her house, it's small, cute, and would be perfect for me. It needs some repairs, painting, and yard work, but hey we all watch HGTV these days...we can do anything!
I'm telling you I get totally obsessed with these 'urges' and get paint chips, fabric swatches, and pictures of furniture I would want to use. My 'home' folder is padded thick with these houses in my dreams. I get really bummed out when reality (aka...my mom) strikes and tells me I'm not really in the position to take the step into home ownership, yet.
The problem is money...I don't have any, I owe too much, and I don't make enough!!! I had a very big spending problem...living above my means for about 10 years. This created a large sum of credit card debt...piled with car debt and student loans and you see where this is going. Then I was introduced to Dave Ramsey and his Financial Peace University and that changed a lot. I cut up my credit cards, stopped charging and over spending and began my debt snowball. It's been a great thing, but has taken me a long time to pay off (I'm still working on it). In the process of paying off debt I finished my Masters degree and began the process of adoption (both costly endeavors). But now I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm hoping that all goes as planned. I'm very close to paying off my student loans and then have a mere one more credit card to pay off (it's a doozy, so don't get too excited)
So with all that said, I know there is no way I could buy a house now. It would be a huge mistake to go backwards right now financially. But sometimes I just think it would be nice to have a place I could call my own, have my own traditions, and do things my way.
My mom is pretty flexible to live with, she's great and we're a lot alike. But as she gets older she gets worse about certain things (my two pet peeves...clutter and disorganization!!!). Somedays it's all I can take to not scream !!! She is such a pack rat about things and it doesn't help that she has a job (home daycare) that can lend itself to needing a lot of 'things' . Monday thru Friday daycare stuff is always out, strewn about the house and then she spends Saturday cleaning it up to have it trashed by Monday again. She cannot throw away (or recylcle) magazines or catalogs for anything! When I can I gather as many as possibe and take them away without her seeing. Just like when she is gone for a while I pick a drawer or cabinet to organize, but it's only a matter of a days before it's trashed again. It's the weirdest thing...she thrives on clutter. I don't need an interventionist or anything, our house is basically clean...we can see the floor, but it's just more than I prefer.
I think I'm very fortunate to have a mom I can live with (and not drive each other crazy) and to have a mom who supports me in the decision to adopt. She will be a huge support when Molly comes and I know I'll need her. I'm sure if I was on my own there would be times when I would think...'there's no place like home'!!! But am I crazy to think I might could handle it totally on my own with a child? Time will tell...I have to pay off the debt first, though.