Tuesday, November 25, 2008

21 Months Paper Pregnant

21 months have passed since my dossier was first logged in with China (CCAA). I cannot believe how incredibly slow referrals have become. With the way things are going it could realistically be another 4 years before they ever get to my LID (2/25/2006).

While the time has given me an incredible opportunity to prepare financially and emotionally, sometimes I just feel like I want my daughter NOW! I started this process early, virtually exactly when I turned 30 years old (the age requirement at the time for China adoptive parents) knowing that it would take a while. But with the way things look now, I could be a much older first time single parent.

I see the stress and incredible work it takes to be just a mediocre parent these days, and at times I wonder if all of my plans inside my head will actually come into action. I have so many piles of future lessons to share, traditions to start, and examples to share with my child/children. I have an entire shelf of parenting books highlighted and bookmarked with ideas about attachment, discipline, creative vacations to share with your children, and how to be a successful single parent. I'm telling you I've read a lot! I've planned a lot! And, I've dreamed even more.

When I see parents of my students and parents of my mom's daycare kids get frustrated and easily annoyed at their kids sometimes I want to SCREAM! I'm not saying parenting is easy, in fact I'm pretty sure I'll be shocked at how difficult it is. But, more often than not I see young couples want to have a baby, but not want to raise the child. It's human nature I guess that gets in the way and our selfish human side wants to have it's way. I know there is a balance because I had two parents who did it and I hope I can too.

My mom was/is a great mom. She made being a mom look so easy. My dad worked long/late hours so much of the time (especially when we were younger) she carried the parental load. She said it was just her dream in life to be a wife and mom (actually her dream was to marry my dad, they were childhood/high school sweethearts...how cute, I love that she got her wish in life) Maybe it was an easier time as well. Don't get me wrong, my dad's presence was very strong in the family, but it was really mom who carried everything out and made life work for us.

Well, I'm just on my soapbox so I guess I'll just close with a note to all parents out there...be thankful for your kids and spend time with them...TIME is the most important gift you could ever give them! I plan on giving my daughter lot's of it when I finally meet her!

1 comment:

Danielle said...

Amy,

I really hope China moves things along. As you know, your daughter will come in the perfect time, but it must be hard when you just want her here now.


You are going to be such a great mom!

I cannot wait until the day when I see photos of you with Molly! Have I told you that I have a cousin from China and that's her name too? Sorry if I already have.

Danielle

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