Friday, September 25, 2009

31 months paper pregnant

Today I'm 31 months paper pregnant...that is

943.542347 days

or

22 645.0163 hours

but who's counting?

Things with China adoption do not seem to speeding up any and so it will more than likely be another 3-4 years before I receive a referral. That is too much for me to comprehend. We're talking 10 years of waiting to become a mom! What is God trying to teach me through this? How is he trying to grow me? What is it about me that has to take this long to learn? This process makes you questions yourself like never before. It makes you doubt your intentions and plans. I just never thought it would be this long.

Next year I'll be 35 years old and by the summer of 2010 I will have been in my house for one year. I'm giving myself one year in my house to get things set up, painted, re-decorated, etc. before I make a big decision. But by next summer I will put my name on the special needs list unless God strongly convinces me not to. It's a scary thing for me...because I will be a single mom. But many of the children that are adopted through the special needs lists have very minor special needs. If I do this I could have a referral within a few months or another year. While I wait for special needs I will also remain in line for a Non Special Needs Child just in case it doesn't work out. I know this will scare many of my family members (mainly mom) because they don't want me to get in over my head. But I'm praying about it this year...someone recently told me a great quote that I'm applying to this situation. "You are waiting on God to move and God is waiting on You to DO". It's so true in many situations! If you are a prayer warrior you can pray specifically for this as well. Pray for peace and confidence about adding myself to the special needs list for China.


1 comment:

Angie said...

Praying for you, Amy!! I made the decision to go special needs after much prayer myself, and I have a perfect angel!! Hang in there, and don't worry about what anyone else tinks if you decide to go that route!!!

Angie

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