Wednesday, March 30, 2011

terrible two's?

sometimes i make bad choices on wednesdays
it's the mid-week tiredness and junky house that get to me
by wednesday i have laundry in the hall, toys in the living room, and dishes in the sink
by wednesday i have no food in the fridge and no gas in the car
by wednesday i have errands to run and lots of papers to grade
by wednesday my girl is ready for some real one on one mommy time
frankly, i'd LOVE  to have wednesdays off!!!!
but that will probably never happen.

this morning was a rough one! 
most of the time molly is so good, but when she sets her mind on something... that's it! 
i guess it's a combination of so many things going on in her little mind
or maybe she dislikes wednesdays as much as i do! 

today she didn't want to get up, she said, "no mommy, back to sleep"
sounds like a smart girl to me!! 
most days she gets right up, but sometimes she is sleepy still at 6:50 a.m.
my goal is to have her up at 6:30 a.m., but sometimes we are both running late.
it was a rainy morning and i put her rainboots on her and she screamed and cried.
she wanted her tennis shoes, but i didn't budge. 
sometimes she has to just do what i say...that is part of mommyhood, right?

once she begins to have a meltdown, everything after that is something that makes her cry even louder!
she didn't want me to brush her teeth or wash her face.
she screamed when i did her hair and put on her raincoat.
on the way out the door she threw herself down on the kitchen floor and cried to be held
i was running so late, was mad at the whole situation, and screamed and yelled for her to come on!
we drove the whole way to daycare without singing or talking.
when i took her to daycare, i told mom...it's been a rough morning.
as i left she kissed me, with her lower lip quivering from her crying spell
i wanted to scoop her up and go home to be with her for the day
but, i know this is all a part of it.
we have to learn to move on and keep going, even on bad days.
i'm sure she was happy again within a few minutes of my departure, but i've thought about it all day.

motherhood
wednesdays
terrible two's
what's it all about, anyway?
i've really not bought into the whole terrible two's phenomenon
i think all of these things are just a part of human development...you know, children trying to grow and mature and parents trying to lead them in the right direction.
i pretty much realize that most crying spells, tantrums, and fits at this age are just her way of expressing that she is overwhelmed, tired, or trying to communicate something she can't.
but, it's also...sometimes...a test of wills.
ms. molly has a SUPER STRONG will and DETERMINATION! 
most of the time it is a good thing, but on morning like this, it's rough!
I have a strong will too...a strong will to teach her what is right and a strong will to be her parent and not her friend!
so when we put our 'forces' together we can really back each other into a corner! ha!
me...the 36 year old single mom and her...the 2.5 year old waiting it out to see who will back down first!

we went through a similar crying/fit/rage on sundy after church.  i put her in her carseat and she wanted to buckle herself in which she can't quite do just yet. 
so i buckled her seat for her and she screamed and cried for about 20 minutes.
i even went through the wendy's drive thru with her screaming in the background!!
the guy could hardly hear my order and probably thougth i had kidnapped an innocent child!


my fear is that this "phase" doesn't subside, but my prayer is that it will gradually get better as she learns and comprehends the difference between choices and consequences. 

so, i'm documenting this yucky day in hopes i can look back and say...
look how she's grown and matured! 
now she can calm herself down.
but right now, she can't.

so now, i'm off to drag out my copy of the strong willed child and dare to discipline
i think i need to read up!!

do you have any suggestions or tips?  feel free to share!!

6 comments:

Cheryl said...

Remember, you are her boss and until she is out of your home you have control. Get that control while she is young, if not, you will be in trouble like my sister is with her 16 year old daughter (miss bossy butt).

Ms Molly, if you don't stop screaming and crying no Wendys and you're going in time out when we get home. And stick with that.

Good luck, as being strong will and a teacher, you can do it.

Stephanie said...

I think you are right on with being the mommy and not her friend and for sticking to your guns.
I've found with my 2.5 year old that her "terrible twos spells" seems to ebb and flow. We can have a few rough and whiny days where everything seems to be a battle and leads to tears, and then she seems to come out of it and return to her sweet self.

Suzanne said...

Amy, you're doing great! We sooo need to do dinner at Cracker Barrel. Yep, I want to talk to you about teaching but oh, I soooo hear you about parenting. For Miss Cate, approaching 5 and now being 5...WHOA! Most of the time, Cate is Miss Happy-Go-With-the-Flow Girl. But lately, she is just trying to see if the boundaries are still there and if I'm still the parent. Sometimes, I've handled those situations well and sometimes, not so much. Truly, parenting is a one day at a time journey. And, I'm laughing...'cause it's Wednesday and we needed milk so on the way home from church, we ran through the Drive Thru at Krispy Kreme and I we each got a doughnut and milk for tomorrow! What is it about Wednesdays??? ;)
Blessings,
Suzanne

Becky said...

You did good. My middle daughter was very strong willed and as she matured, those strong 'wills' turned into strong convictions. For that we were blessed. As a parent, it is hard to be consistent and also to curb those willful attitudes as well as actions. This is the time to shepherd that little heart.

Dan and Karen said...

Oh Amy, I feel your pain...and just when I survived the "terrible twos" the threes came along...and they've beeb worse!

One thing I've found that helps us on those "I wanna sleep in" mornings is to have Danika's favorite stuffed animal "pink bear" "help" get her dressed. I pick up pink bear, take his paws, have him help unzip her jammies, put on socks, etc. It usually makes the morning go much smoother. Some days are just rough, aren't they?

And by the way, just when I thought there couldn't be a child with a stronger will than Danika...Miss Sienna came along - and she makes Danika look like a cake walk. I've got my work cut out for me!

Ultimately her strong will is going to be Molly's greatest strength, it's our job as parents to bend the will without breaking the spirit. You've done a fantastic job of giving where you can and holding firm when you should.

Another dear and wise Mama-friend told me once, (and she had her kids "tow the line")"If it doesn't hurt you, doesn't hurt her and doesn't hurt others let it slide". It's been good advice on the days when I have purple pants out and my girls want to wear pink etc.

Praying for you in these days of figuring it all out!

Blessings!

Karen

Tricia Thompson said...

Amy,
I feel your pain! I have a testing one as well. Maggie chooses to test me when we are out in public so I have been creative with her timeouts, etc. They are just making sure that we still love them and that that love is unconditional. I totally agree with the nip it in the bud at this age! Maggie is starting to get a smart mouth on her and that is what she gets in trouble with. I don't care about what she wears as long as it is weather appropriate and I even encourage her creativity on outfits. You know we are so fortunate that it is the "typical 2's and 3's" that we are worried about instead of attachment. Love those pictures.

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