Sunday, July 1, 2012

hysterectomy

on tuesday, july 3rd i will have a complete hysterectomy
i say "complete", because little did i know they can actually do a partial
where they only take out some "parts", but i'm losing everything
losing all of my girl parts at 37 years old is not exactly what i had planned for those things
i didn't even get a chance to try them out...you know to see how it would feel to carry a baby in my womb
 but, just like that, it will be gone
and there will be no chance of any babies coming from my eggs:(

but, sadness is not an emotion i will choose to have about this
because God chose to send me down a different path to experience motherhood
and i'm so thankful his timing is perfect because he allowed me to experience adoption and motherhood before the reality of this surgery came to fruition
and i can honestly say that the day i became molly's mom i felt 100% fulfilled in the motherhood department
and so if God chooses to grow my family at any point in the future i know it will also be through adoption

honestly i would never have been ok with having a hysterectomy at this age if my adoption process were not complete.
i know of so many women who struggle with infertility because of endo
and my dr. is pretty sure that if i were married and trying to get pregnant, it would be a huge struggle for me
so, i can only look at it all as a huge blessing that God carved out this special journey for me to adopt
because i do know that if i were married and trying to get pregnant and couldn't, what a huge heartbreak it would be for me
but, as it is now, it's a heartbreak that never had to happen:)

i first discovered i had a real problem 2 years ago and i blogged about it here
my obgyn discovered stage IV endometriosis, which basically means endo is growing fast and furious everywhere inside my abdomen
well, 2 years ago i had also just returned home from china and didn't really have the time or energy to think about having surgery
i didn't like the possible side effects of the treatment options so i decided just to tolerate the pain and get settled in with my new life as a mom and then decide what to do later
apparently i have a high tolerance for pain:)

and so now we've come to "later" and honestly i'm so relieved that it's here
just knowing that something inside your body is not "behaving" like it should is a bit unnerving
i know i have adhesions  to some organs like the bladder, bowel, intestines, maybe more?
hopefully they will be able to remove all or most of them easily without damaging anything.
i'm really hoping to feel so much better after healing from surgery and i am looking forward to that!
it will be an adjustment for sure, i'm concerned about going into menopause at 37 years old but am hopeful it will be ok...
the surgery will include  (for those interested) the removal of my cervix, uterus, tubes, ovaries (one is diseased), and i'm also getting a "bladder sling"...fun times:)

the plan is to do the surgery laproscopically at 7:00 a.m. and i could possibly come home the same day...it depends.

pleases pray that everything goes smoothly and as planned for me on tuesday.  i'm not nervous about the surgery as much, but about them finding something else wrong once they begin.  this fear comes from the fact that my 33 year old cousin went in for what we thought would be a hysterectomy and came out with a diagnosis of stomach cancer and 6 months to live.  while i DO NOT have any kind of symptoms that mirror hers, it is still a fear.  i think this day and time we all have a fear of cancer in the back of our minds, so that is pretty normal.

pray for the adhesions to be removed easily, for recovery to be smooth, and for me to transition into menopause as easy as possible.  thank you all so much!

i will post about my surgery and recovery on the other side...

11 comments:

Sandy said...

Prayers lifted for you!

Suzanne said...

Dear Amy,
Praying and praying and praying. Praying for your peace and comfort and a super quick recovery. Praying for beautiful and healing results.

You're on my mind, friend.

Love,
Suzanne

Tricia said...

WOW Amy - bitter sweet surgery, huh? Im sure everything will be fine and you will feel so much better once it is all done. Please have someone update us on how it goes either by FB or your blog. Love ya

Dan and Karen said...

Amy, I'll be praying for you. Wish I could be there to give you a hug and cook and clean for you during your recovery. I'm so glad you have a wonderful family and network of friends to support you. Love and prayers!

Karen

Judi said...

Amy, you will be in my prayers this week. As a mom who birthed four children and adopted one, there is really no difference in how you become a mom. It isn't the process, it's the moment it happens when they are placed in your arms! :)

Cheryl said...

My prayers are with you Amy.
You will feel so much better once healed.

Uttz Family said...

I will be praying for you in this huge journey you are about to begin. Praying its a new beginning for wonderful things. Hugs, Mariah

John & Michelle said...

I will be praying in Athens, AL and expecting wonderful news when you feel up to updating us!
(((HUGS)))

Shauna and MacLean said...

Amy, thoughts and prayers to you and sweet Molly as you go through this journey. Take care and get well soon

Laurie said...

How 'interesting" that today, after months of not seeing your blog, I decided to google you to see what you were up to and look at some recent pictures of Molly. So glad I did so I could pray for you this morning.

Becky said...

I missed this post. Glad that all went well. I think you will feel physically much better although I am sure there will be some sadness. Take care.

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